Okay, I may not be an expert but I have lived a little life in my forty (yes, forty) years. It’s funny how people can face the same thing and get different results. That just goes to prove my point I’m trying to make here. People are so willing to make assumptions and they know exactly what is going on and what you should do about it. Hence they become experts!
It is so easy for anyone that isn’t walking, standing or washing your shoes to have an opinion about what is going on with you. From the outside you seem to have the perfect life; married, a house, 2 cars parked in the driveway, a boy, a girl, and two dogs (seems like every American family). For our family this is a blessing. We really aren’t much different from everyone else but I wonder if that is so for everyone.
Windows are a perfect example in life to me. If you are walking past a beautiful house that is well groomed and seems to be all in order…your first thought might be, “they got it made”. On the other hand if you were walking past a house that has a little paint pealing, grass past your ankles and toys thrown around the yard you might say to yourself, “they need to clean that up.” While these might not be the best examples, I think your get the idea of where I’m going.
From the “window” everyone seems to form an opinion, but no one (not even the fly on the wall they wish they were) really knows without walking through the door and staying a while. I’m not just talking for a cup of coffee or even dinner, I’m talking about a week or a month and really walking through the door (all doors in your house).
While I taught my parenting class this past year, my favorite saying to the class was, “What works for me may not work for you, and what works for you now may not work next week, next month or next year, and what works for one child may not work for the other, you have to find out what works best for you and your family situation.” This really should be how we live life. Willing to listen to others, try new things, but doing “only” what works for your situation regardless of what everyone else is doing.
Life is going to put you through many different trials, moments of laughter and tears but most of all it is going to create memories. Don’t let even the lowest situations find you creating a memory not worth remembering. Even the roughest points in my life have been worth remembering and talking about because I learned from them. I’m thankful for every moment in my life (even the ones I never thought I’d get through) and as I look back and even today I hear advice from many different directions.
Here’s my second lesson on how we should live our life. Don’t talk about your life (where it matters) to anyone that hasn’t been in a similar situation as yourself. If you are a parent with unruly children, don’t run to your friend that has never had children or even to a friend that is having the same issue but refuses to find a solution…I suggest you find the friend or mentor that had children with unruly behaviors but got a grip on them and has overcome. That’s the advice I need…Been There, Done That and Conquered! Don’t set yourself up for failure.
While the “window” in your life may make people think you have it all, or make them think you need to get it together, all that really matters is what you think and how you handle things. Don’t let the outside come in unless its sunshine. You deserve the best and nobody needs to understand why you haven’t painted, mowed or picked up the toys. When I see this I think they must be really busy, or maybe like me life happens, God first, family and then everything else. I’d rather look back on life and think I was there for all the memories, instead of just the ones that looked good. And for those who have the perfect “window” just be prepared, windows get dirty and eventually someone notices and has to offer that dreaded opinion.
So if you walk past my house and notice my grass is a bit high, the pool area has floats out of place and towels laying around, my garbage cans are empty by the curb and bicycles are in grass and start to form an opinion, just know I’m inside living life and creating memories with my family…we will get to that stuff later!
It is so easy for anyone that isn’t walking, standing or washing your shoes to have an opinion about what is going on with you. From the outside you seem to have the perfect life; married, a house, 2 cars parked in the driveway, a boy, a girl, and two dogs (seems like every American family). For our family this is a blessing. We really aren’t much different from everyone else but I wonder if that is so for everyone.
Windows are a perfect example in life to me. If you are walking past a beautiful house that is well groomed and seems to be all in order…your first thought might be, “they got it made”. On the other hand if you were walking past a house that has a little paint pealing, grass past your ankles and toys thrown around the yard you might say to yourself, “they need to clean that up.” While these might not be the best examples, I think your get the idea of where I’m going.
From the “window” everyone seems to form an opinion, but no one (not even the fly on the wall they wish they were) really knows without walking through the door and staying a while. I’m not just talking for a cup of coffee or even dinner, I’m talking about a week or a month and really walking through the door (all doors in your house).
While I taught my parenting class this past year, my favorite saying to the class was, “What works for me may not work for you, and what works for you now may not work next week, next month or next year, and what works for one child may not work for the other, you have to find out what works best for you and your family situation.” This really should be how we live life. Willing to listen to others, try new things, but doing “only” what works for your situation regardless of what everyone else is doing.
Life is going to put you through many different trials, moments of laughter and tears but most of all it is going to create memories. Don’t let even the lowest situations find you creating a memory not worth remembering. Even the roughest points in my life have been worth remembering and talking about because I learned from them. I’m thankful for every moment in my life (even the ones I never thought I’d get through) and as I look back and even today I hear advice from many different directions.
Here’s my second lesson on how we should live our life. Don’t talk about your life (where it matters) to anyone that hasn’t been in a similar situation as yourself. If you are a parent with unruly children, don’t run to your friend that has never had children or even to a friend that is having the same issue but refuses to find a solution…I suggest you find the friend or mentor that had children with unruly behaviors but got a grip on them and has overcome. That’s the advice I need…Been There, Done That and Conquered! Don’t set yourself up for failure.
While the “window” in your life may make people think you have it all, or make them think you need to get it together, all that really matters is what you think and how you handle things. Don’t let the outside come in unless its sunshine. You deserve the best and nobody needs to understand why you haven’t painted, mowed or picked up the toys. When I see this I think they must be really busy, or maybe like me life happens, God first, family and then everything else. I’d rather look back on life and think I was there for all the memories, instead of just the ones that looked good. And for those who have the perfect “window” just be prepared, windows get dirty and eventually someone notices and has to offer that dreaded opinion.
So if you walk past my house and notice my grass is a bit high, the pool area has floats out of place and towels laying around, my garbage cans are empty by the curb and bicycles are in grass and start to form an opinion, just know I’m inside living life and creating memories with my family…we will get to that stuff later!
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